… and we’re back to Past Attractions, a guide to whatever was good for you.

To get the ball rolling after our vacation, we turn once more to superscrupulous journalist Nanni Cobretti, with his take on Walter Hill’s classic entry in the “macho dudes with guns” genre, Extreme Prejudice…

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Welcome to the School of Trailers, lesson 1: how to make a proper badass trailer.

It’s simple, really.
You take a bunch of badass actors.
You show them one at a time on black background, wearing badass, military clothes.
You put badass weapons in their hands, and make them strike a really badass pose.
And you get a badass voiceover introducing them with some badass facts about them.
If you don’t have time to hire an orchestra, or even a guy with a synth, you can steal the soundtrack right from Rambo: First Blood Part II. You can, I swear to Colonel Trautman.
Then you top everything with the main star.
If you can’t have Sly, Arnie or Chuck, you go with the next best thing: Nick Nolte.
I know the man also made some pathetic chick flicks with Barbra Streisand and Julia Roberts, but trust me: when he does his job, he’s up with the best of them.
Still not sure? Add mirror shades and moustaches, and les jeux sont faits.
Want more??? Fuck off, you cheeky greedy bastard…

Uber-exploitative 1984 theatrical trailer for John Milius’ Red Dawn.

Arguably the most bizarre thing to ever come out of Milius as a filmmaker (and that’s taking into account his own pro-gun, pro-war, rightwing kamikaze ethos), the movie in itself is an epic blood-and-tears Brat Pack bromance that 25 years later still makes you go “… wait, it’s supposed to be a satire, right?”.

First 20” are a thing of beauty, though, with the stillness and quiet of Anytown U.S.A. coming together in a “before” shot.

The rest of the trailer makes it look like a Continental Death Wish sort of movie, going all out with the “bad guys on a rampage” angle and showing comparatively little of the good ol’ Wolverines fighting back: choice Milius moments are missing - one imagines the deer blood drinking scene (“kinda makes you feel different on the inside”) wouldn’t have flied with mainstream audiences, just like multiple main characters eventually dropping dead.

Random wisdom from YouTube commentators: “Hollywood. In reality the Soviet Union would have raped them up the ass.”